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But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity., Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit., May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house., I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose., If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?, No no self-respecting cat would say that. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. They should be giving their money to you., There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. He always seemed filled with empathy.. This is the best we can do, folks. Death is a topic that many people are afraid to talk about. George Carlin Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together Sometimes, all you have to do is get up in the morning. This Artist Reimagines Studio Ghibli Movies Into Stunning Watercolor Paintings, And Here Are 14 Of Them, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Woman Pays A Lot Of Money For A Comfortable Seat On The Train, Elderly Woman Wants Her To Move, AITA? What gave him his potency, Gunderson said, was that he turned his standup into a call to action. Carlin, she said, taught everyone where to find the power that they have and encouraged them to use it.. Enjoy! If George Carlin were around now to respond to the questions we have for him, he would have schooled us on both sides and come up with a third-way truth that would have blown our minds, she said. As those who were closest to him have learned, when he is unable to advocate for himself, he can be made to seem like he supported any opinion at all. Quotations by George Carlin, American Comedian, Born May 12, 1937. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.. (In my neighborhood, no one ever got polio, he fulminates. I mean, it doesn't hurt to try ;), Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it., War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die., Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, Hyperion, There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Whats going on now is not that fight. Today, he said, we live in a world where anybody can really say what they want, whether anyone believes that or not., While Carlin would still probably be dissatisfied with the state of free speech today, Maron said, his barbs would have been aimed at the corporate occupation of discourse, with digital monoliths like Google, Facebook and Twitter dictating how culture thrives and is consumed., And if a comedian wants to claim freedom of speech while using words that others deem hateful, Maron said, you can say them all you want youre probably just going to be hanging around people who enjoy that kind of stuff. Maybe George Carlin really did have the right idea. Gunderson, of the National Comedy Center, described Carlin as a leader who didnt want to hold all the power. The ultimate lesson he had for us, she said, is that we have the unlimited right to challenge everything, to never stop thinking critically about any source of power or any institution even Carlin himself. Or the more caring, sensitive "Brace yourself, Agnes!". Like Peace George Carlin Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. You know people say things like, You know I lost my father? Ah, hell turn up. I think the life cycle is all backwards. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it We are! [laughter] There is a line (queue). If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? It's been here over four billion years . When it comes to comedy, there is no shortage of great performers, but his bold stance on nearly every topic, from religion to politics, set him apart from other funnymen of his era. Top 16 George Carlin Religious Quotes in 2023 - QuotesGeeks They own, and control the corporations. On other modern-day topics in which George Carlin surely would have had an incendiary but clarifying take on the Trump and Biden presidencies, social media, Elon Musk or the Marvel Cinematic Universe no matter how much we might wish to know his thoughts, he remains frustratingly out of reach. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. This is funny, but if the entire plane were engineered the way black boxes are, it would not be able to fly. but i prefer pragmatist or agnostically optimistic If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it?, well i dont have to go to the meeting now, The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions., As a fellow American, I can say this is 100% correct, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music., Never argue with an idiot. He taught me from Day 1 that the Black and brown people have always been oppressed, horribly and systematically, by the owners of wealth, she said. Carlins indignant voice feels so impossible to duplicate that quotes he never said and entire essays he didnt write are often wrongly attributed to him. Hey Pandas, What Is Something That Happened In Your Life That You Wish Happened Again? Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! There was a sense of fairness and rooting for the underdog. Take care of the planet. If this is the best God George Carlin Quotes on Death & Dying (4 Quotes) Continue with Recommended Cookies. August 1936. And apparently, Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. George Carlin, Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, If there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that hes at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesnt give a shit.

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